As I’ve mentioned countless times, I am an incredibly type-A, perfectionist, control freak personality of a person. Everyone will always preface that things that go wrong at your wedding, but do you really know what you’re actually in for? I’ll tell you right now that we had about four different big boo-boos that happened on our big day, but I was able to keep myself incredibly calm throughout every hiccup and didn’t once lose my cool (even in our 100 degree weather). Here’s how.
First thing’s first… begin your weekend relatively off your phone (or at least off social media). I really wanted to soak up the weekend and be present. For once in my life, my phone was annoying to me. I had two of my bridesmaids log in onto my Instagram from their phones and document stories for me. People are going to call/text you last minute asking tons of questions (that you’ve already answered on your wedding website or on the invite.. but people don’t like to read so you just have to deal with it *eye roll*) and the last thing you want to do is get overwhelmed. So unless it’s an emergency, they can figure it out or ask someone else. Don’t feel you absolutely need to attend to every single question. Chances are they are asking but then remember to read the info and figured out the answer themselves before you ever had the time to text them back.
Now, to tackle day off stress, you need to mentally prep yourself the week of to chill – that everything will be fine, everything will work out, and everything will be great. If you have any last minute errands, have family members help complete those for you. That alone helped alleviate a great amount of stress for me Friday and Saturday.
On the day of, start getting ready early. In order to do this, there’s 2 things that need to be done:
1. Get all your belongings ready and in order the night before. You’ll easily save 30 minutes if not more the morning of. Girls are messy and we have LOADS of crap. Have all your dresses hung up and things packed, ready to go. This way no one is scrambling and stressing the moment they wake up.
2. Start getting ready (hair and make up) as early as possible. Whomever isn’t getting hair or make up done should start steaming dresses. Ask that your glam squad arrives 30 min before schedule – which in some cases may end up being right on time just in case they get lost or can’t find your venue. If it costs more, pay it. It won’t be that much. That was the case for me since our venue was tucked in the back of the vineyard. But yes, YOU WILL NEED THE EXTRA TIME. Ask if your hair or make up girl to bring an assistant each if you’re hiring them separate. This will only be necessary if you have more than 5 bridesmaids and if both mothers are getting glammed up as well.
My maids and I actually finished getting ready early, even with our morning mishap! My entire team (wedding planner & her team, photogs, hair and MUA artists) all kept saying how they’ve never had a wedding where the bridal party, esp one of this size, was ready, not just on time, but EARLY! Everyone in my bridal party, including both mothers, had both hair and make up done. How did we make this work? I had a hair stylist, my hair stylist’s assistant, and two make-up artists. If you only have one of each, expect to run late and expect to be late to your own wedding. Keep in mind though, that isn’t fun or fair to your guests.So to backtrack on our AM ‘mishap’, Saturday morning, the limo came to pick the girls up from the hotel first. Well, our limo broke down half way up the hill. Most brides would begin panicking, some would even cry. I literally just laughed and thought to myself, “Of course!!” but not in a bad way, more like, ‘Well, I’m sure this is typical so it’s no big”. In reality, it really wasn’t that big of a deal considering we were still early and we were only about a mile down from the property. So we just called an Uber. Only one maid was able to catch an Uber since service sucked, so once he dropped us off, I had to take my parents van and pick the rest of the girls up. Again, no big. I knew the route the best, as my venue was so complicated to get to, so I had no problem being the chauffeur for a little. (Might I add… Long story boring, the limo broke down for the guys too. Ugh lol so they had to Uber back to the ceremony after they got ready. It’s safe to say we got a full refund from that limo company).
While you start getting ready, things will begin to get chaotic. That’s just the nature of weddings… but you need to just breathe. Have one go-to person aside from your wedding planner or coordinator. Usually that would be your MOH. Everyone (including maids) will be asking you questions so just have the MOH answer or chime in on those so that you can get ready in peace. If you parents begin to get overwhelming, just politely let them know that you need your solitude and to best address/fix each issue the way the coordinator thinks best works. Remember that your planner has been helping you plan this weeding for months. Chances are, they’re going to know what you want/don’t want – give them your full trust to troubleshoot. If you only have a day of coordinator, sit down with them before hand and give them a very detailed list/schedule of things to do. Think of all possible hiccups that may occur and suggest solutions for them so they’ll know what to do. Also, give them all important contacts. This way they can ask others instead of bother you with something if things go wrong. Luckily my mom was so amazing and so calm. She steamed all the girls dresses and helped me communicate things while I was getting ready. She kept me calm and if any worry were to arise, she would solve it herself immediately before I even had any time to process what was going on.
GIVE YOUR PHONE TO SOMEONE. People will be blowing you up on where to park, what exit off the freeway to take, where to enter from, EVEN what time the ceremony starts. Trust me, it sounds ridiculous but people will always be people and they will ask some pretty irritating questions at the very last minute because, well, people are just last minute folks haha. So put your phone on Do Not Disturb mode so it isn’t ringing off the hook or even better, on airplane mode. If you’re worried about someone needing to get to you, all the people who matter will already be on-site where you’re getting ready. If it’s an emergency, they can & will contact someone else.
Keep reminding yourself that the day is going to fly by and that you are only able to live it once, so don’t get strung up on the small stupid things. If you forget a decoration, who cares. NO ONE will know or notice except you. Honestly.
All in all, I didn’t stress at all during my wedding day, and I’m damn proud of it (trust me, everyone expected me to become bridezilla knowing how high strung I am on details). Even with the insane heat and lack of A/C in the house we got ready in… I remained cool (no pun intended).
It’s truly a mental thing. If you let yourself stress early in the day, it’ll only be a domino effect from there on out. With the heat, there was nothing I could do about it. Everyone was hot, everyone was sweating, everyone was experiencing the same thing. So there was no point in me complaining. If you’re sweating, I’m sweating, we’re all sweating, then who cares.. let’s sweat! And let me tell you, I woke up SO lean the morning after. No exaggeration, I had never sweated so much in my entire life. So there, there’s my win-win. At various points, Tyler was wiping my back saying, “You have a 1/4″ stream of consistent sweat flowing down your spine. That’s gross..” haha!!
Okay so I lied, there was about 6 minutes where I was flustered and it was when we were trying to find my officiant to sign our marriage license since we were getting rushed for photos (and it was soooo hot).
Photos by Dmitry Shumanev