Often times, I get asked the questions, “How did/do you start (blogging)? Weren’t you scared? How did you know it would go anywhere”? Here is my advice on getting yourself to doing whatever new venture it is that you’ve always wanted to start. I will give you steps to help change your doubtful and fearing mindset and show you the best way to kick start solid foundational implementations for those new goals and a NEW YOU.
Now, I cannot attribute my grit and mindset to this book as I believe it’s just something I was born with, however, this book puts perfectly into words what I would tell anyone! I have mentioned this book over and over and over again – The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John C. Maxwell. This book is one of the best books I have ever read for effective life changing habits. I have recommended it to so many friends and they have all loved and learned great amounts from it. A huge misconception people have is that, the older they get, they are done growing – that they don’t need to improve themselves emotionally, mentally, or personally because they have the answers. Wrong, wrong, and wrong. There is always room for improvement and it is never too late. How you see and tackle life is connected with the type of mindset you hold. If you are unhappy, this is not the end. You have all the capacity and ability in the world to make those changes for yourself!
SO LET’S GET TO IT. NEW YEAR, NEW YOU. AND I FULLY MEAN THAT.
“THE LAW OF INTENTIONALITY” – growth doesn’t just ‘happen’.
1. GROWTH VS. GOALS – People are often so anxious to improve their circumstances but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound. If you focus on goals, you may hit your goals, but that doesn’t guarantee growth. However, if you focus on growth, you will grow and ALWAYS hit goals. See if there is a growth gap of where you are vs. where you want to be.
2. GROWTH TRAPS (aka excuses)
– THE ASSUMPTION GAP: I assume that I will automatically grow.
A year goes by and we become taller, stronger, more capable of doing new challenges. Many people carry into adulthood a subconscious belief that mental, spiritual, and emotional growth follow a similar pattern – but they don’t. No one improves by accident, personal growth doesn’t just happen on its own and no one else can do the growth for you. If you want your life to improve, you must make that a tangible target.
– THE KNOWLEDGE GAP: I don’t know how to grow.
If you were to ask anyone, “Do you have a growth plan”, chances are they will say no. Maybe they respond with learning from tough situations but those aren’t planned – those are random and people can either learn from them or grow chipped shoulders from them. Generally, people are not intentionally trying to grow. However, you can create your own steps. You can control your growth, you can decide where you want to grow, what you want to learn, and you take the discipline that comes with going at the pace you set for yourself. If you are clear with what you want, the world responds with clarity. There are five areas to focus on here: attitude, goals, discipline, measurement, and consistency. Your world will begin to expand once you see that there are growth opportunities all around you, even in the smallest of things.
– THE TIMING GAP: It’s not the right time to start.
The Law of Diminishing Attempt states that, “The longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds you will never actually do it”. Think about all the great accomplishments we would have in the world if everyone had just done what they intended to do at the time they wanted to do it! The reality is, you will never get much done unless you go ahead and do it before you are ready.
– THE MISTAKE GAP: I’m afraid of making mistakes.
First of all, mistakes are inevitable. They inevitable in literally every single thing you try to do in life, old or new. We even subconsciously make mistakes in things we’ve been doing in routine for years. So if you make them in your everyday routine and don’t think much of it, why are you so fearful of making them in something different? Secondly, ask yourself what you would attempt to do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Those words should encourage you to try things you think are beyond your abilities. If you want to grow, you must get over any fear of making mistakes. Listen up here – A MISTAKE IS SIMPLY ANOTHER WAY OF DOING THINGS. To become intentional about growing, EXPECT to make mistakes every day, and WELCOME them as a sign that you are MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION *mic drop*.
– THE PERFECTION GAP: I have to find the best way.
Similar to the mistake gap is the perfection gap. We think we have to find the best way first but that’s actually moving backwards. You must first get started in order to find the best way. Think of it as moving your home to a new city but your job is still in same location. You have to get familiar with the area around you and find little streets and routes that dodge the most traffic before you find the perfect and fastest commute route. It doesn’t just happen on the first try.
– THE INSPIRATION GAP: I don’t feel like doing it.
Here is a total mind-f for you. We think we have the concept of motivation down, and although sometimes it comes as a direct feeling, here is an entirely different way of looking at it when you feel like you don’t have any. Motivation, contrary to popular belief, doesn’t always just STRIKE you like a lightening bolt. It is not something someone else can bestow or face on you. This idea of ‘motivation’ is a total trap. Forget about the motivation part and JUST DO IT. Do it WITHOUT motivation and then guess what? After you start doing the damn thing, you start seeing progress, seeing movement, and that’s when motivation comes and makes it easier for you to keep going. Motivation is like love and happiness. It’s a by-product. When you’re actively engaged in doing something, it sneaks up and zaps you when you least expect it.
– THE COMPARISON GAP: Others are better than I am.
Let this actually be something that fuels you. You have to surround yourself with people who are better than you. Why? Because you’re never going to learn, especially when you’re around people who are at the same level as you. Yes, it may seem intimidating as you may feel out of their league but you can only learn if others are ahead of you. John C. Maxwell says, “The first ten years that I was intentionally pursing personal growth, I was always behind trying to play catch up. I had to get over the comparison gap and learn to be comfortable with being out of my comfort zone. It was a difficult transition, but it was well worth it”.
– THE EXPECTATION GAP: I thought it would be easier than this.
I don’t know any successful person who thinks growth comes quickly and climbing to the top is easy. It doesn’t just happen. People create their own luck. Preparation (growth) + Attitude + Opportunity + Action (doing something about it) = Luck. It all starts with preparation. You cannot change your destination overnight but you can change your direction overnight.
If you want to reach your potential, if you want to start that new venture, if you want to become the person you were created to be, you must do much more than just experience life and hope that you learn what you need along the way. Starting new things and sticking to them is ALL about your mindset. As mentioned in the beginning – goals and growth are two separate things – goals don’t guarantee growth but growth does guarantees goals. Move away from accidental growth (learning only from mistakes/the occasional life lesson) and move into intentional growth. You must go out of your way to seize growth opportunities as if your future depended on it. Why? BECAUSE IT DOES GIRL! Growth doesn’t just ‘happen’, you have to go after it!