Oh lordy, wedding planning has been quite the journey, even WITH a full-on wedding planner! Last week (3 weeks out), I had a HUGE meltdown. I was so incredibly stressed out with all the last minute moving pieces and honestly grew so discouraged. I am very organized and loved planning but for some reason, I thought I had failed myself. (I’m pretty sure planning my shower, the remodel, and over estimating on the amount of collabs I’ve taken on this month has played a huge part, but still. Everyone’s journey is different and some of you may be doing everything or a lot of it yourselves. Either way, this should help!)
So here’s an itemized list of things I’ve learned along the way; things you might not think of or may oversee while planning.
- It’s never too early to start getting things together, especially pieces/elements you doubt you’ll change your mind on. Time creeps and flies by. When we hit the 100 day mark, it felt like I had months still to plan so I didn’t think much of starting on the final items. Well, it went from 100 days to 13 days in a blink of an eye lol. So don’t put those small things off till the last minute.
- If you’re buying things online, buy at least 1-1.5 months ahead of time. Why? Because:
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- You don’t know the quality or make of the item. If you buy last minute and you’re unhappy with it, you’re screwed
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- Some of the pieces may come broken (happened to me) in which you’ll then have to calculate the time it’d take for you to return it, get your refund, and purchase more (and hope it arrives unbroken)
- Make your purchases (if applicable) during big holiday weekends. I bought our save the dates during Black Friday and got an extra 30% off my order. You’ll be able to snag goodies throughout the year if you plan your purchases out accordingly. Just make sure that item makes sense with the upcoming holiday. Memorial, Black Friday, Labor Day, and Christmas are solid weekends. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, 4th of July, and President’s Day, tend to be more selective with how vast their sales are.
- Let your in-laws, friends, and bridal party help. I am not the type who likes to ask for help if I know I can do it myself. I’m also a bit of a control freak. Thus, I just end up doing things myself because I have to know the progress or location of each item to be mentally sound. I hate uncertainty when it comes to planning and have a tough time trusting the reliability of people. However, for those whom are similar to me… I ended up giving the smaller or tedious tasks to others whom wanted to help. It actually has saved me a heck of a lot of time and stressing. It’s fine if you wanna take care of the big things, but when it comes to pick ups or buying the smaller things you might forget to buy, or running errands day before/day of, have others do it for you! Oh but tip on top of a tip.. make sure you only select a few individuals you KNOW you can trust – don’t just throw any task at anyone.
- If you’re unsure about the trendier styles of your picks/items that you want for your wedding, put together a plan A and B on Google Docs. I had a change of heart of style with some things as my planning process progressed. Initially I was not into the too traditional or classic wedding elements. I see myself as timeless with a hint of unconventional and really wanted that to show in my decor. However, as time passed, I realized I wanted a more it to be more timeless than anything – a wedding that would transcend through the years. I ended up returning some of my initial buys and bought new things after. Again, doing things ahead of time gives you the luxury to make tweaks along the way. So this is what I suggest you: Create a doc and list two separate links for your items. Link 1 should be your current love, the trendier style. Link 2 should be something a more classic but something you like. If you have a change of heart, you can refer back to this sheet and you’ll have your plan B right at hand!
- Create a spreadsheet of costs and document each cost with each vendor every time something gets added on. I even went as far as buying a portable accordion-fold folder. I printed out every contract and organized them up in the pockets. I wrote in the top corner of each contract the date in which I submitted the down payment, how much I paid, how I paid (check, credit card), the remaining balance, and the date of the final payment. This makes it so much easier to refer back to instead of reading each contract over again, doing calculations, and possibly leaving room for mistake. I also highlighted the mailing address of each company so I could easily find it when submitting final payments. Trust me, all these little things will help tremendously.
- Plan for a good chunk of money to go towards tips. You’re more than likely going to have to tip all your vendors unless stated otherwise in contract or it is already included in the total cost. 10%-20% for each vendor adds up insanely quick so budget for that ahead of time. Divide all your tips into separate envelopes and label each accordingly. On the day of, give them to your planner/coordinator and have him/her distribute them for you. If you’re not sure how to tip, ask your coordinator for advice or refer back to my blog in a couple weeks, I plan to type up a tipping guide!
- Again, and I cannot stress the importance of this, START EARLY. There is no such thing as starting too early now that I look back to my planning journey. I did start early and I am so glad I did because along the way, I was able to cross so many little things off that would now, drive me insane. It’s really the little things that end up causing the most stress.
- Make a check list of things you know you’ll need to bring the day of as you go. If you do this too last minute, you may forget a couple items and will waste your money on things unused. It doesn’t need to be perfect, just write it down. You can organize your list into appropriate categories/boxes the week of (see next tip for reference).
- Pack things your bringing into clear plastic bins. Avoid bringing a bunch of bags or just throwing things in trash bags. Get those large gallon clear plastic bins with the lids. On a 8×11 paper, write down what items are in each bin and tape with shipping tape each paper to the corresponding box lid. This helps you easily organize and pull items once you’re at your venue.
- Make a check list of contingency items to bring that you may already have at home. This includes allergy medicine, Advil/Tylenol, a steamer (very important), scissors, a needle & thread for sudden rips, bandaids for blisters/cuts, safety pins, bobby pins, pretty much any contingency item you can think of. Something will always go wrong and you want to make sure you’re fully prepared for these mishaps.
- Create a “Must Capture Photos Of” list for your photographer. You may love your photographers work and he/she may know the main shots to capture, however, they are not mind readers. If you absolutely NEED certain things to be photographed, provide a list for them. I shared a Google Doc with my photographer and continued to updated it as time progressed. You don’t want to look back and be like, “Crap, I wish they got photos of the whole extended family and not just me and my immediate family” or, “I wish they got more candids during our entrance instead of crowd shots and reactions”. Be specific and don’t feel bad about it. You’re PAYING a grip for these!
- Start writing out your thank you cards even before the wedding. I personally think it’s required to mail thank you cards to your guests who give you gifts. It’s just good manners. The last few nights, I’ve begun writing out in each card “Dearest” in which I would write in their names once we know the gifts. Then I’d write, “Thank you so much for celebrating us at our wedding. We hope you had as much fun as we did! Thank you for our new….” and that’s it. Again, fill it as you’re unwrapping. This saves not only a ton of time, but agony of having to write a million thank you cards right after the wedding. Prep 10-12 cards every night only until you hit about 50% of your guest count given there are families and couples within that total that would all be included onto one card.
- HAVE FUN DURING THIS TIME. You want to look back and smile about your wedding planning, not cringe and be relieved that it is all over. I already know looking back, I wish I would have asked others to help out sooner. It really would’ve let me enjoy more of my pre-wedding months rather than loose sleep and have meltdowns in front of Tyler haha!
Hopefully this helps! I’m all about organization and that is something so crucial for wedding planning. If you fail to plan, you should plan to fail. Well, it’s not that intense, but you catch my drift. Even with a planner, I still had to have all the paperwork in hand and be involved in every step of each vendor process because, although I fully trust my planner, I just have to see everything for myself for the sake of my sanity. I don’t like gray areas in my planning processes and having all of these tools and tangible items have helped calm a lot of my nerves.
Photos by: Dmitry Shumanev